ES-Sense Photography – International Wedding Photographer – Ako'y Iglesia Ni Cristo! Based in Southern California, City of Long Beach » Thoughts of a Wedding Photographer

Erika - I might as well give it a shot.

I was at the airport and I had to use the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom the first stall was occupied, so I went in the second one. I dropped my pants and sat down. A voice from the stall next to me said, “Hey,how you doing?” I thought it was a little stange but I didn’t want to be rude, so I said, “not too bad, thanks.”After a short pause, I heard the voice again, “So what are you up to?” Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, “Just had to take a dump….how about you?” Small pause again, then the voice said, “how about when I’m done here, I come over there?” I got freaked out and said, “listen buddy, I just needed to use the toilet and I don’t want any funny business!” The next thing I heard was, “sorry, I’m gonna have to call you back, the guy in the stall next to me thinks I’m talkin to him.”

Benz - ——————————————————————————–

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

“What was the name of the Instructor?” asked the neighbor.

“Oh, ummmm, let’s see,” the old man pondered. “You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what’s that flower’s name?”

“A rose?” asked the neighbor.

“Yes, that’s it,” replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, “Hey, Rose, what’s the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?”

Grae - The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, “Okay, okay, I’m a rabbit, I’m a rabbit!”

Mr Gabels - More of funny advice than a joke.

One day a chicken on a farm decided that he wanted to fly. He would jump up on top of the tractor and flap his wings. As soon as he would get momentum, he would jump off, levitate for three seconds and fall.

The chicken tried this for weeks and each week he would not give up. Finally with a discouraged attitude, he decides to just settle being a non-flying chicken.

The bull who has been observing this goes up to the chicken and offers him a deal.

“Listen, Chicken” the bull said. “If you want to fly, all you have to do is eat my poo.”

With nothing to lose, the chicken decided just to take a nibble of the poo.

The chicken flapped his wings and flew 10 Feet in the air. The chicken who was amazed thanked the Bull and ate the rest of the poo.

The chicken was so happy, he started to do circles around the whole farm. Every animal was amazed and happy for the chicken.

Finally the exhausted chicken needed a rest. He sat on top of the lamp post and BOOM!

The farmer shot the chicken with a shotgun.

Moral of the story: Bull crap can only take you so high, but it will not keep you there.

Tasha - A married couple was planning to go on vacation in Key West, Florida. The man went down first, while the wife was finishing up a business meeting in New York City. The husband arrived and decided to email his wife to tell her that he arrived in Key West.

After he typed his message, he accidentally typed in the wrong email address. The email went to a woman who was grieving over her recently deceased husband. The grieving woman checked her email, read the man’s letter, then passed out cold. Her daughter came in and looked at the computer screen. It read:

“Honey,
This is your husband. I just wanted to tell you I got here OK, and I have all your bags checked in and ready for you to get here tonight so we can be together.

P.S. It sure is hot down here.”